Spitfire's Story

A) For those who have grown children - this is hysterical!
B) For those who have children past this age, this is hilarious.
C) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
D) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
E) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
F) For those that have girls, say an extra prayer tonight.

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin,Texas:

Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. Room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day:

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?
9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
8. Come on up and see me urchins.
7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?
4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
3. Ya know, darlin', I'm 97 percent chum free.
2. Well blow me down?
And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …
1. Prepare to be boarded.

Bonus pickup lines (when the ones above don't work, as they often won't)
They don't call me Long John because my head is so big.
You're drinking a Salty Dog? How'd you like to try the real thing?
Wanna shiver me timbers?
I've sailed the seven seas, and you're the sleekest schooner I've ever sighted.
Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? … Oh, wait. That's for Talk Like a PARROT Day.
That's the finest pirate booty I've ever laid eyes on.
Let's get together and haul some keel.
That's some treasure chest you've got there.

Top Ten Pickup Lines for the Lady Pirates
By popular demand ...
10. What are YOU doing here?
9. Is that a belayin' pin in yer britches, or are ye ... (this one is never completed)
8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!
7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, "Cap'n Feathersword?"
6. That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!
5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I've had a twenty percent decrease in me "lice ratio!"
4. I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs!
3. C'mon, lad, shiver me timbers!
2. RAMMING SPEED!
...and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:
1. You. Pants Off. Now!

Washington chemistry mid-term. bonus question. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with Colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?


Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats
when it is compressed) or some variant.


One student, however, wrote the following:


First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which
souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they
are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that
once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving.


As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at
the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a
member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there is more than one of these religions and since
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell.


With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls
are added.


This gives two possibilities:


1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks
loose.


2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.


So which is it?


If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day
in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night,
then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that
Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.


The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
more souls and is therefore, extinct ... leaving only
Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being
which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting
"Oh my God."


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

whats your name spelt backwards? Is "spelt" a word? Eydnew

What did you do last night? Had an interesting conversation in IMs, Read til 3 am then sorta slept

The last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Endurance Race entry form

Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery? What would possess someone to do this?

Last time you swam in a pool? Geez, long time ago

What are you wearing? a T Shirt

How many cars have you owned? 8

Type of music you dislike most? Punk

Are you registered to vote? yes

Do you have cable? no (Live in the boonies and cant get it)

What kind of computer do you use? Dell P4, 2.4GhZ

Ever made a prank phone call? yes, hehe

You like anyone right now? As in Boys? I do, and I'm not tellingggggg.....

Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? Sky Diving, not bungee

Furthest place you ever traveled? Lexington, KY (I'm so sheltered!)

What's your favorite comic strip? Ziggy

Do u know all the words to the national anthem? Sing it really off key, too

Shower, morning or night? Night

Best movie you've seen in the past month? Pride and Prejiduce

Favorite pizza toppings? Cheese and Pepperoni

Chips or popcorn? Plain chips

What cell phone provider do you have? cingular

Have you ever smoked peanut shells? Whats that do?

Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? no

Orange Juice or apple? Orange

Who were the last people you sat at lunch with? Tracey, Robin, Mike, and Kendall at the horse show

favorite chocolate bar? Twix

Who is your longest friend and how long? Dawnell, known her since we were 10

Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? No idea

Have you ever won a trophy? yes, too many to count with horses and dogs and rabbits

Favorite arcade game? Mrs. Pacman and Dig Dug

Ever ordered from an infomercial? no

Sprite or 7-UP? sprite

Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work? yes

Last thing you bought at Walgreens? ::censored::

Ever thrown up in public? In Seattle on my 21st Bday

Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love? True love

Do you believe in love at first sight? Its called "Lust at first sight" and heck yeah

SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON? ugh

Did you have long hair as a young kid? yes

What message is on your voicemail machine? Cell phone: I'm telling you I'm with my horses. Home phone: Im telling you Im a queen and conducting paperwork on my throne.

Where would you like to go right now? Away

Whats the name of your pet? Tilly, Cadence, Classi and Luna

What do you think about most? How to reach my lifelong goal.

Stolen from Holdenn's "My Space"

The average person only gets 7 right.

This is based on U.S. info, so use all lobes of your brain. This can be more difficult than it looks - it just shows how little most of us really see!

There are 25 questions about things we see every day or have
known about all our lives. How many can you get right?
These little simple questions are harder than you think-- it just
shows you how little we pay attention to the common place
things of life.

Put your thinking caps on. No cheating! No looking around! No
getting out of your chair! No using anything on or in your desk or
computer!

Can you beat 20?? It is nearly impossible for any normal person to get higher than a 20 (The average is 7). Write down your answers and check answers (on the bottom) AFTER completing all t he questions.

REMEMBER - NO CHEATING!!! BE HONEST!!! That means no looking at your phone or anything on your desk...

Then, before you repost this, change the number on the subject line to show how many you got correct.

LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE. - If not, just
have fun!

Here we go!

1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?

2. How many states are there in the USA? (Don't laugh, some
people don't know)

3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?

4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label?

5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by
them?

6. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left
leg? (Don't you dare get up to see!)

7. How many matches are in a standard pack?

8. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?

9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?

10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise?

11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?

12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?

13. On which side of a women's blouse are the buttons?

14. Which way do fans rotate?

15. How many sides does a stop sign have?

16. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left
side?

17. How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?

18. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?

19. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?

20. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?

21. On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?

22. On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts
the opening between the slats?

23. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?

24. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?

25. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?



============================================



ANSWERS

1. Bottom

2. 50

3. Right

4. Blue, red, white, yellow, black, &gold

5. 1, 0

6. Right

7. 20

8. Red

9. 87.7

10. Clockwise (north of the equator)

11. Towards bottom right

12. 12 (no number 1)

13. Left

14. Clockwise as you look at it (bullshit; what about ceiling fans, you can set them to go counter clockwise).

15. 8

16. Left

17. 5

18. 6

19. Bashful

20. 8

21. Ace of spades

22. Left

23. star (*), pound (..)

24. 3

25. Counter

NOW REPOST WITH THE NUMBER YOU GOT CORRECT IN THE SUBJECT LINE!

Don't lie either

Solstitia from this day forward
you will also be known as Foolish Samurai


http://www.blazonry.com/scripting/wuname.php

Directions: Put your iTunes/Winamp/WMP/whatever on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud (or not), and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING. Sadly.


1. How Does the World See You?
I wanna **** you like an animal (Nine Inch Nails)

OK, this does not bode well ::flail::

2. Will I have a happy life? 
I'm Already There (Lonestar)

true.....

3. What do my friends think of me?
The Dance - Garth Brooks

I'm liking that one...

4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Long Time Gone (Dixie Chicks)

I'm not sure how to take that one!

5. How can I make myself happy?
Mr. Wonderful (Dance Dance revolution)

OK, but I'm happy without a man! ::flail::

6. What should I do with my life?
Salt Shaker (Yin Yang Twins)

Umm... That mean I should get a pimp?

7. Will I ever have children?
Hobbits From the Shire (music inspired by LOTR)

ok then! I will have halflings!

8. What is some good advice for me?
A Little Less Talk and a Lot More Action (Toby Keith)

Calling me a chatterbox? ::raises a sardonic eyebrow::

9. How will I be remembered?
Mustang Sally (Eric Clapton)

Hell yeah!!!

10. What's my signature dancing song?
Dead or Alive (Bon Jovi)

Uh... ok, I'm speechless.

11. What's my current theme song?
Dream On (Depeche Mode)

Thats a tad weird...

12. What do others think is my current theme song? 
Girl All the Bad Guys Want (Bowling For Soup) 

Yet, another hell yeah moment!  hehe

13. What shall they play at my funeral?
Shake Your Bon Bon (Ricky Martin)

Thats it --No funeral for me!!! I shouldn't admit I have that song, much less hear it played at my funeral!!

14. What type of men do I like?
Walk This Way (Aerosmith)

Not sure how I should take that one.... Are they saying I'm controlling? Or I like to be controlled??? ::flaps::

15. How's my love life?
Nothing Else Matters (Metallica)

Hehehehehehe  ::points at red hair::

16. To sum it all up:
Feel Like Making Love (Bad Company)

I sense a pattern here.  

Well, real-life takes a hold now and then, sadly. I am a horsetrainer for a living, as you probably know. My whole life has revolved around horses. My first horse ever, Ali Vanity, made a HUGE impact on my life in many many ways. I had him for 17 years. He died 2 weeks ago at the incredible age of 33. It's taken me this long to give myself the chance to mourn ... but in doing so, I finished a powem about him I started 4 years ago. It's behind the cut. There will never be another horse like Ali, he will be missedby many for a very long time. The big Arabian Horse Magazine is considering a story I wrote about him a logn time ago as an article. My mother sent it in. Would be neat! 

OK, End real life, back to fun and games!

My name is Wendye and I have a story to tell   

Of a time when my hopes, goals and dreams almost fell.

 

If you want something bad enough you’ll never fail

I hope you’ll set back and enjoy my tale.

 

When I was young I bought a horse named Ali Vanity  

Not so long afterwards, we all questioned my sanity

 

For this horse was a wild, spooky Arab           

And little miss Wendye, why she was a cherub

 

Indeed at first Ali got Wendye’s goat,

He’d scare her by bolting and shying, and then he’d gloat

 

Wendye was scared and wanted a new horse

But her pride came out and she tried a new course

 

so she sat down with Ali and had a long talk

Ali she said, no more will you buck bolt or balk

 

For I’ve always wanted a horse and you’re what I’ve got

I’m not going to put up with you being a snot

 

For you may be an Arab, but you are beautiful and smart

I want to be friends, lets make a new start

 

As she kissed his nose and meandered away

Ali shook his head, snorted and glared at his hay

 

For Ali decided long ago to show no emotion

Cause he’d never found humans to show any devotion

 

He told himself that he didn’t care

About anyone not even this girl with red hair.

 

But Wendye was determined to grow together a deep bond,

And with patience and time, Ali began to respond

 

Time, help and understanding, patience and praise

Ali‘s great heart and loyalty, became passion ablaze.

 

He found delight in having his own girl,

Trust began building, and time flew with a whirl.

 

They galloped in pastures and chased imaginary foes,

He listened to her secrets and nuzzled away woes

 

With time, patience and help they became a great team

And soon began to realize their every dream

 

From horseshows to races, in competition and fun

Ribbons and trophies in abundance were won

 

But of all the great times, their favorite memories were just

Simply reveling in freedom, their mutual confidence and trust

 

No matter the outcome, they never gave up from giving their all

They’d proven their heart, and such courage would never fall.

 

They spent time on the trails, and in the shows in high fashion

But never surrendered their mutual unrelenting compassion

 

The bond they had grown over time would never be broken

They’d both been through hardships, and had finally left nothing unspoken.

 

He emboldened her spirit, she embellished his pride

She grew up courageous, compassionate and proud, with Ali as her guide.

 

But with time comes maturity, and with maturity comes age

Life inevitably turns a full circle, moves on to the next stage

 

She became an adult, was gifted with ability and horses to train

Ali retired to a pasture, where he continued to reign

 

He bossed around cats, Wendye’s mom and tried to remain spry

But when Wendye returned he’d get that old gleam in his eye

 

They’d reminisce on days past, the glory and brilliance

He’d pretend he was young, and act out with resilience

 

They’d laugh and they’d cry, but eventually the age showed in his eyes

And along came a time, they had to say their goodbyes.

 

He lived a full live, with many admirers and friends

His is a nobility that even time- it transcends

 

His copper coat gleaming, Eyes full of pride

Tail flying behind him, an Angel astride.

 

He’ll live on forever in our hearts and this world

For a spirit that strong will eternally remain unfurled.

The tale I spun is heartwarming, provoking and true

Greatness lives on, in the many spirits that he knew.

 

My tale had a dual-purpose; don’t lose sight of the theme-

If you never give up… you can dare to dream! 

Adryanna asks, "I mean what if he don't like it?" **(referring to a poem she wrote a man)**

You say to Adryanna, "then you feed him a chicken so I can kill him."

Andysta says, "What interesting courting rituals you have Sols."

You ask, "man doesnt do what we want, we kill them?"

You say, "may not get what we want, but it makes us feel better."

You ask Andysta, "and I'm married, so see how it works?"

Andysta whispers, "OOC: Oh man .. I'm dying with laughter over that one!@"

Lunora says, "NOT fixer-furry."
Lunora gives you a playful poke in the ribs.
You nod to Lunora.
Lyrelai says, "I think that's what she said."
You say, "Togette is sayed that. You-furry is Not-fixer-furry."
You nod at Lunora, in complete agreement with her views.
Lunora says, "Ok, not NOT fixer furry."
You ask, "You-furry is not-not-fixer-furry?"
You scratch your head.
Lunora shakes her head at you.
Lunora says, "No."
Lunora says, "Lunora."
Lyrelai frowns thoughtfully and scratches her head.
Lyrelai says, "Now I'm confused too."
You ask Lunora, "you-furry is Looney-not-not-fixer-furry?"
You pant.
You say, "Is wifth long-name."
Lunora shakes her head at you.
Lunora says, "No."
You giggle.

Raecear [9:02 PM]:  ::gives you a toy::
Solstitia [9:02 PM]:  ::squishes, turns pokes plays with it and makes it talk to you in a very strange voice, almost like she's consitpated::
Raecear [9:03 PM]:  good good
Raecear [9:06 PM]:  blblblblb
Raecear [9:06 PM]:  what are you doing?
Solstitia [9:06 PM]:  I just got home, I was just popping non-existent zits. Seemed like a good "Im really tired, cant think and dont know what to do" activity.
Solstitia [9:07 PM]:  why? What are you doing?
Raecear [9:07 PM]:  did you get any of them?

((I like how he doesn't even miss a beat, like this is a totally normal conversation))

Solstitia [9:07 PM]:  yeah got a couple to ooze a bit, it was really satisfying.
Raecear [9:07 PM]:  I hate it when I can feel them if I raise my eyebrows, but can't get rid of them
Solstitia [9:08 PM]:  oh see I dont get them on my forehead, just my chin
Raecear [9:08 PM]:  ahhh
Raecear [9:08 PM]:  I get most of mine on my forehead
Raecear [9:09 PM]:  or on the front of my temples
Raecear [9:09 PM]:  pretty lame either way
Raecear [9:09 PM]:  at least I don't have to shave them
Raecear [9:09 PM]:  on my forehead
Solstitia [9:10 PM]:  yeah, shaving your forehead would definitely hurt if you had zits there ::scratches her head::
Raecear [9:10 PM]:  yeah that would be unfortunate

Raecear [9:11 PM]:  scorps are being super stingy :(
Solstitia [9:11 PM]:  all the rich ones are probably at the fest
Raecear[9:15 PM]:  ::blows them all up::
Raecear [9:16 PM]:  actually, since you said that, I've found 4 large rubies, out of 5 kills
Solstitia [9:16 PM]:  ::reads back through the IM in awe:: what I find amusing is I was just really wacko weird cause Im wiped out tired and you just took it all in stride and didnt even hesitate. LMAO
Solstitia [9:16 PM]:  yay!! See? Im good luck!
Raecear [9:17 PM]:  ::laughs::
Raecear [9:17 PM]:  what?  It's a perfectly normal conversation
Raecear [9:17 PM]:  it's an important subject
Solstitia [9:17 PM]:  girls always describe their zit popping experiences to you while talkign through a toy in a constipated voice?
Solstitia [9:17 PM]:  I need to meet the girls you know.
Raecear [9:17 PM]:  I don't know too many really
Raecear [9:17 PM]:  I'm pretty sequestered
Solstitia [9:18 PM]:  ahh, so thats it then. I dont know many girls either so I spose it could be perfectly normal
Raecear [9:18 PM]:  that's true
Raecear [9:18 PM]:  who knows
Raecear [9:19 PM]:  it's pertinent to just about everyone though
Raecear[9:19 PM]:  everyone can relate
Solstitia [9:19 PM]:  yes, yes thats true.
Raecear [9:19 PM]:  a good host should always talk about zits
Solstitia [9:19 PM]:  and it really is fun when you pop a good one.
Raecear [9:20 PM]:  I've found another medium and large ruby too
Raecear [9:20 PM]:  maybe zits = rubies
Solstitia [9:20 PM]:  ooh keep zit talking!!
Raecear [9:20 PM]:  haha you're just trying to zit talk me
Raecear [9:20 PM]:  ::bats eyelashes::
Raecear [9:20 PM]:  holy cow, another large!

Solstitia [9:22 PM]:  Alex says, "A good host should always talkk about zits."
I think that should be a famous quote
Raecear [9:22 PM]:  hehe
Raecear [9:22 PM]:  one day, 37 years in the future, someone will read it in a book of good quotes
Raecear [9:22 PM]:  and 118 years in the future, a teacher will have it on a poster on their wall in the classroom
Solstitia [9:23 PM]:  and 137 years in the future, some student will do a bad deed and have to write it on a spoaceage blackboard 387 times
Raecear [9:23 PM]:  that poor little bastard
Raecear [9:24 PM]:  that's what they get
Raecear [9:24 PM]:  THAT is why I say useful stuff
Raecear [9:24 PM]:  I'm serving the future
Solstitia [9:25 PM]:  LMAO!!!
Solstitia [9:25 PM]:  Only you.
Raecear [9:26 PM]:  and the rubies just keep on rolling!

Chatter[Nosirol] We have a dead S'kra Mur on Aesry in the cliffs with the la'tamis if anyone is able to make it out this way to aid.

You scan the skies for a few moments.
Your search for the red moon Yavash turns up fruitless.

Chatter[Solstitia] Yavash is not up, would be a long time getting aid there.
Chatter[Nosirol] Indeed, the fallen has departed at any rate
Chatter[Daku] ride a chicken
Chatter[Solstitia] chickens sink.
Chatter[Daku] they stink AND sink?
Chatter[Daku] what good are they anyhow?
Chatter[Solstitia] no no, they smell wonderful. But they dont swim well, nor fly well.. not to mention, I may be small but I'm not THAT small.
Chatter[Solstitia] they are brave and noble and brilliant warriors! Just have to stay on the mainlands. Apparantly you were hunting their illegitimate offspring anyhow, Seteria's "Frickens" , so I doubt they'd aid me in your rescue anyway, scaley-lips.
Chatter[Daku] no need to cast aspursions
Chatter[Dayin] If they are so noble, why do they have illegitimate offspring?
Chatter[Solstitia] they do not. Seteria claims they do though, she thinks Guin and Mortimer made frog-chickens, "Frickens" otherwise known as "La'Tami".
Chatter[Solstitia] but you know Sete. She's full of leeeches.
Chatter[Dalkin] that would make sense

While I feel really really bad I didn't just depart, and only reason i didn't was I felt a Raecear locate right before I hit DEPART ... SO I stay and after a WHILE. .... Heres what ensues:

* Driving in like an unbeatable force, a rock guardian charges at you.  You fail to evade, mainly avoiding the blow.  The body lands a powerful strike that shatters the cheekbones surrounding the right eye, knocking you completely senseless.
[You're in death's grasp, very badly balanced with opponent dominating.]
You are still stunned.
You are still stunned.
!S>recast
You feel yourself falling...
You feel like you're dying!

Please rephrase that command.
* Moving with incredible power and control, a rock guardian charges at you.  You fail to dodge, moving directly into the blow.  The body lands a very heavy hit that punctures clear through the right wrist, ripping the hand free.

The rock guardian picks you up and throws you savagely to the ground
 * Solstitia was just struck down!

You are somewhat comforted that you have gained favor with your God and are in no danger of walking the Starry Road, never to return.

Your body will decay beyond its ability to hold your soul in 216 minutes.

You get an odd feeling that someone is watching you.  It quickly passes.
A rock guardian beats its chest and howls!
Chatter[Nazirre] I'm innocent!
Chatter[Raecear] I'll get her..

Raecear's eyes take on an unnatural gleam as he shouts, "Begone!  Flee before my might!"
The rock guardian retreats from combat.
Raecear makes a grunting noise.
Raecear appears stronger.
DEAD>dance
The dead can't dance!
Raecear whispers, "is anywhere in here safe?"
Raecear whispers, "No moons up."
DEAD>whis raec my first time I have no clue
You project your spirit into a ghostly whisper to Raecear.
Raecear whispers, "Man, I can't make the climb."
Raecear appears stronger.
A rock guardian looks about sadly as if it were late for dinner.
Raecear gestures at a rock guardian.
It suddenly looks rather passive.
Raecear appears stronger.
Chatter[Raecear] I'm going to have to bring you in Rav.
Raecear says, "Wait here.."
Raecear snickers.
Escaper Raecear climbed down a rock fall leading down into a chasm.
Chatter[Ravanos] sounds fair

Escaper Raecear climbed up a rock fall leading down into a chasm.
Raecear sighs.
Escaper Raecear climbed down a rock fall leading down into a chasm.
DEAD>consent raecear
I could not find what you were referring to.

Long time later, he gets a moongate up, they rescue, I rejuve, Raecear runs away. (Don't blame him a bit, He was a real trooper, you'll saee why i say that when you read on!!)

Ravanos says, "ah swear, ah chased anudda cleric unda tha moonie guild"
Ravanos says, "ah've followed a tog to tha islands"
Ravanos says, "an that hasta ave been tha weirdest rescue ah've evah had tha privlege a bein on"
Ravanos laughs!
You ask, "whatdja expect when it was me?"
You flash a quick grin at Ravanos.
>Ravanos asks, "kin nae do anythin bob tailed evah kin ya?"
Ravanos chuckles.
You exclaim, "of course not!"
Ravanos says, "writin a book.. places people die they outnta"
Ravanos chuckles.
Ravanos says, "chapter one, moon rangers"

And then IMs:
Ravanos:  that has to have been the most slapstick rescue I've ever been on.. and I went after melli under the moonie guild
Solstitia:  LOL, why was it so funny?
Ravanos:  the rescue?
Ravanos:  oh.. well rae was recently back to life
Ravanos:  couldn't really actually DO much
Ravanos:  had to drag me in there
Ravanos:  because i can't see the trails
Solstitia:  LOLOL
Ravanos:  I couldn't make the climb
Ravanos:  so decides to enchant me a climbing thing
Ravanos:  as 2 rock guardians show up
Ravanos:  he sleeps em, I kill em
Ravanos:  then he feeds his servant an open bag
Ravanos:  BOOM room is covered with his junk
Ravanos:  and another rock guiardian shows up
Ravanos:  he keeps enchanting
Ravanos:  as soon as he botches it, blows up his gem
Ravanos:  katamba rises
Ravanos:  lol
Solstitia:  ROFL!!!
Solstitia:  aww poor Raecear!!!
Ravanos:  now you know why he ran
Ravanos:  lol
Solstitia:  oh thats just wrong

Its snowy icy cold and I had the day off and probably tomorrow, leaving me WAY too much time to think. So since Holdenn (yay Holdenn!!) convinced me to NOT post this question on the boards, I put it to you here.....:

OK, this is a bit weird but .. I think you'll see my point.

Ok, So Grels a guy and loves women, he becomes a women and is fascinated by girly parts and has fun playing with them for a while, then after a time, he realizes he misses his manly parts.

So then "she" starts coveting and wanting to look at other manly man parts and wanting to play with them because she misses her own so much.

Does that make him/her gay?

How To Shower Like a Woman:

*Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
*If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
*Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
*Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
*Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
*Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
*Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
*Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash..
*Rinse conditioner off hair.
*Shave armpits, bikini line and legs.
*Turn off shower.
*Squeegee all wet surfaces in shower.
*Spray mold spots with Tilex.
*Get out of shower and stand on bathmat.
*Dry with towel the size of a small country.
*Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
*Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

--------

How To Shower Like a Man:
*Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom.
*If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
*Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
*Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
*Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
*Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
*Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
*Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
*Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap
*Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
*Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bathmat.
*Dry off forearms and butt only.
*Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
*Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.
*Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
*Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
*If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
*Throw wet towel on bed

((I am extremely bored, trying to find somehting to instigate...))

Chatter[Solstitia] Nave! You are far worse than me!! You  are the anti-thesis of purity, that would be like saying... Solstitia plucks chickens for fun! No way! Where were you, Nave? hehehe
Chatter[Nave] Not telling. Must keep my purity intact..Must not be drawn into temptation by the dark side.
Chatter[Astriyd] No one eva be totally innocent.
Chatter[Mudge] Sols lady likes to pluck chickens, and smelly Nostril likes his kitty petted and Nave is mean and nasty dirty!

 

((Count on Smudgey!!))

 

Chatter[Solstitia] now I am the dark side? I am innocent, Nos is smelly, and Smudge has a sexy tail.
Chatter[Nave] The question is...Sols why was ya looking at Mudge's tail?
Chatter[Solstitia] except for the chicken part, thats correct, Smudgey, but I don't pluck chickens, I kiss them, is all.

 * Body Part Scavenger Seteria Relaanla joins the adventure.

 

((YEEEE HAHHH!!!  ... fun will be had this night!))

Chatter[Nave] Is that before you batter dip them and fry them? I always forget....
Chatter[Solarryis] mudge has a tail let me see let me see
Chatter[Mudge] you kiss chickens?  where do you kiss chickens when they don't have lips?
Chatter[Nave] Tail feathers?
Chatter[Solstitia] no no!! Thats what you do to Seteria.. fry her. Not chickens! And Smudgey, you kiss their heads.

 

((instigates))

Chatter[Seteria] did I just hear my name besmirched?

 

((it starts. Starts preening.))

Chatter[Nave] I would never try to batter dip and fry something or someoe that could rip my arms off and feed them to me with Jadice honey sauce.
Chatter[Nosirol] If not, we could try again.
Chatter[Seteria] oooh Solsie.. the chicken hater

((More instigating))

Chatter[Solstitia] no no, thats Sola not Sols
Chatter[Damian] i didn't think your name could be further besmirched Sete

 

((Go Damian!!))

Chatter[Seteria] chuck any boulders at poor defenseless blue-painted chickens Solsie?
Chatter[Solarryis] i dont hate chickens
Chatter[Astriyd] Sete, ya besmirch ya own name pretty good.
Chatter[Nave] She loves them...baked as I understand it.
Chatter[Nosirol] My question is, does liking how chickens taste automatically mean you hate them?
Chatter[Solstitia] Sete does! Shes on trial very soon for her plucking, egg squishing, eating deeds....
Chatter[Seteria] try to cover up your perverse loathing of chickens by pretending to hold them in high esteem...
Chatter[Seteria] poultaphobe

 

((i'll have to use that one sometime!!))

Chatter[Nosirol] I could say something in her defense, but she called me smelly.
Chatter[Nave] Yes she did...didn't she?
Chatter[Seteria] chicken czar
Chatter[Solstitia] Smelly is all in the nose of the beholder. Personally, I adore the smell of fishheads and seaspray.
Chatter[Nosirol] Ah, that explains why you're always trying to get close to me.  I wondered...
Chatter[Seteria] and she secretly loves the smell of painted poultry
Chatter[Solstitia] I am the chicken tender!

Chatter[Seteria] you fowl fascist

 

((oh god, did she have any clue what she was starting??!))

 

Chatter[Mudge] I thought chicken tenders were supposed to be eaten?

Chatter[Solstitia] egg beater!

Chatter[Nave] with sauce!

Chatter[Solarryis] no you are supposed to have funerals for them

Chatter[Seteria] hen hater
Chatter[Solstitia] rooster wannabe
Chatter[Mudge] plucky ducky!  yay!  I can play too!
Chatter[Seteria] banty beater
Chatter[Solarryis] umm sols i think shes the wrong gender
Chatter[Astriyd] Ah be suprised. Ah thought Sete was mother hen?
Chatter[Mudge] egg leg!
Chatter[Mudge] scramble bamble!
Chatter[Nosirol] Good one, Smudge.  That's Smudge, right?
Chatter[Solstitia] wing clipper!
Chatter[Mudge] I'm Mudge!
Chatter[Seteria] cock teas.. umm.

 

((was that an oops?! LMAO!!!) (Silence descended for a while after that one!))

Chatter[Solstitia] cluckolder!
Chatter[Mudge] what did the crazy healy lady say?
Chatter[Solstitia] she called you sexy.
Chatter[Seteria] nothing nothing.. I just got carried away there
Chatter[Seteria] with the Fowl louler
Chatter[Solarryis] mudge ask your mom about that one
Chatter[Mudge] cocks don't have teeth, they have beaks!  and talons!
Chatter[Seteria] err fowl fouler
Chatter[Nosirol] Oh, er, Azimee, you don't have... family up in Theren do you?
H>chatt chicken defecation eater
Chatter[Solstitia] chicken defecation eater
Chatter[Azimee] Probably.   Why do ye ask?
Chatter[Nave] that one was gross.

 

(this next one wins the most creative award...))

 

Chatter[Seteria] closet plucker
Chatter[Nosirol] No reason...
Chatter[Damian] ooh Sete i have something for you
Chatter[Mudge] beaker leaker!
Chatter[Azimee] Why do i suspect that isnae the complete truth, Nos?
Chatter[Seteria] comb coveter
Chatter[Astriyd] Sete, where ya be?
Chatter[Solstitia] pinfeather poker!
Chatter[Nosirol] Hmm, hard to say... hard to say indeed.
Chatter[Seteria] wing wacker
Chatter[Solstitia] chicken-lip kisser!
Chatter[Seteria] gizzard gulper
Chatter[Solarryis] i thought we established chickens have no lips
Chatter[Astriyd] Mudge, ah got dem boxes fer ya ta smash.
Chatter[Mudge] chicken head lover!
Chatter[Solstitia] Spur puller
Chatter[Mudge] oh!  thanks Astriyd!
Chatter[Solstitia] tail-feather shaker!!!
Chatter[Seteria] talon fondler
Chatter[Astriyd] Sete, ken ya meet meh at da gate, please?
Chatter[Seteria] of Throne City?
Chatter[Solstitia] yes please, someone control her, shes an eyeball pecker!
Chatter[Astriyd] Ahh...ah could sail ova...unless dere be ah healer about?
Chatter[Seteria] well.. your a pecker wrecker you are Sols

 

((I had to backspace a LOT after that one, LMAO))

Chatter[Mudge] aww those poor peckers
Chatter[Seteria] and a down with down supporter as well
Chatter[Solstitia] thats not what I've been told!! At least I'm not a coop pooper!
Chatter[Seteria] but you are a nest nincompoop
Chatter[Solstitia] you are a shell breaker!
Chatter[Mudge] haha coop poop!  crazy healy lady likes to poop in the coop!
Chatter[Seteria] you a yolk slinger and no better
Chatter[Solstitia] egg fertalizer!

 

((Silence for a long time ...))

Solstitia [11:44 PM]:  least i stopped the rest of them in their tracks they’re all going .. “Did she just call her  a chicken f***er?”
Mudge [11:45 PM]:  yes yes you did just call sete a chicken fudger

 

((Back in the fray ... notice the insults stop, I think I won!!))

Chatter[Mudge] what's that?
Chatter[Solstitia] I'm too innocent to know the answer to that question, Smudgey.
Chatter[Mudge] then why would you say it Sols lady?
Chatter[Nosirol] Yes, why would you say it?
Chatter[Solstitia] the chickens made me do it!
Chatter[Seteria] yeah!! viva de resistance to sols!
Chatter[Nosirol] ... I'm suddenly much more frightened than I was a moment ago.
Chatter[Seteria] rise up chickens and wring the neck of your would be opposer!
Chatter[Solarryis] i have to agree with you

((I SO couldn't resist this....))

Chatter[Solstitia] *Solstitia was just struck down!
Chatter[Seteria] strike fear to the heart of the one that forces you to crossbreed with frogs!

((Silence for a while...))

Chatter[Seteria] Huzzah chickens!! Poultry unite!! Bar b que at Sete's house!
Chatter[Solstitia] They don't want BarbeQ, they want SeteQ
Chatter[Solstitia] i was just trying to stand in their way and nobly save your life, but they are heading your way...
Chatter[Seteria] they cant cook.. they dont have thumbs
H>chat Thats what spurs are for.
Chatter[Solstitia] Thats what spurs are for.

 

(Solstitia stomps in, full temper flaring, looking as menacing as possible.)
You glare at Seteria.
Seteria gets a chicken feather from inside her backpack.
Seteria offers you a chicken feather. Enter ACCEPT to accept the offer or DECLINE to decline it. The offer will expire in 30 seconds.
You squint at Seteria.

You accept Seteria's offer and are now holding a chicken feather.

You give a chicken feather a hug. I'm quite sure that the feather appreciates the sentiment.
Seteria gets a jagged bloodstained butcher's cleaver with a thick ruby-encrusted handle from inside her backpack.

You ask, "They give you a run of it then?"

You snicker.

You gawk at Seteria.
Seteria moves a jagged bloodstained butcher's cleaver with a thick ruby-encrusted handle to her left hand.

You exclaim, "you didn't!"
Seteria gets a chicken feather from inside her backpack.
Seteria offers you a chicken feather. Enter ACCEPT to accept the offer or DECLINE to decline it. The offer will expire in 30 seconds.

You accept Seteria's offer and are now holding a chicken feather.
Seteria hums to herself.
You give a chicken feather a hug. I'm quite sure that the feather appreciates the sentiment.
Seteria gets a chicken feather from inside her backpack.
Seteria hums to herself.
Seteria offers you a chicken feather. Enter ACCEPT to accept the offer or DECLINE to decline it. The offer will expire in 30 seconds.
You exclaim, "Sete! You are so mean!"

You put your feather in your sirenfish-skin backpack.
Seteria quietly says, "gotta pluck em"

Seteria shrugs.
You exclaim, "thats a lot of feathers, what did you do .. pluck it alive?!"

You accept Seteria's offer and are now holding a chicken feather.
Seteria gets a chicken feather from inside her backpack.

You gawk at Seteria.
Seteria offers you a chicken feather. Enter ACCEPT to accept the offer or DECLINE to decline it. The offer will expire in 30 seconds.

You exclaim, "no you dont!!"

You put your feather in your sirenfish-skin backpack.

You put your feather in your sirenfish-skin backpack.
You accept Seteria's offer and are now holding a chicken feather.
Seteria gets a chicken feather from inside her backpack.
Seteria offers you a chicken feather. Enter ACCEPT to accept the offer or DECLINE to decline it. The offer will expire in 30 seconds.

You whimper.

You exclaim, "Seteria!!!"

You grab Seteria by the shoulders and shake her!

You accept Seteria's offer and are now holding a chicken feather.
Seteria gets a chicken feather from inside her backpack.

You give a chicken feather a hug. I'm quite sure that the feather appreciates the sentiment.
Seteria offers you a chicken feather. Enter ACCEPT to accept the offer or DECLINE to decline it. The offer will expire in 30 seconds.
You put your feather in your sirenfish-skin backpack.
You put your feather in your sirenfish-skin backpack.

You accept Seteria's offer and are now holding a chicken feather.
Seteria gets a chicken feather from inside her backpack.
Seteria offers you a chicken feather. Enter ACCEPT to accept the offer or DECLINE to decline it. The offer will expire in 30 seconds.

You exclaim, "where’s the bald chicken?!"

A tear runs down your face.

You accept Seteria's offer and are now holding a chicken feather.
Seteria gets a chicken feather from inside her backpack.
Seteria offers you a chicken feather. Enter ACCEPT to accept the offer or DECLINE to decline it. The offer will expire in 30 seconds.

You kiss a chicken feather!
You put your feather in your sirenfish-skin backpack.
You put your feather in your sirenfish-skin backpack.

You accept Seteria's offer and are now holding a chicken feather.
Seteria gets a chicken feather from inside her backpack.
Seteria offers you a chicken feather. Enter ACCEPT to accept the offer or DECLINE to decline it. The offer will expire in 30 seconds.

You wave your chicken feather around.

You accept Seteria's offer and are now holding a chicken feather.
Seteria gets a chicken feather from inside her backpack.
Seteria offers you a chicken feather. Enter ACCEPT to accept the offer or DECLINE to decline it. The offer will expire in 30 seconds.

Surely there are more interesting things to flirt with than the feather!

You put your feather in your sirenfish-skin backpack.
You put your feather in your sirenfish-skin backpack.
You exclaim, "Sete!!"
You grab Seteria by the shoulders and shake her!
You grab Seteria by the shoulders and shake her!
You grab Seteria by the shoulders and shake her!

You exclaim, "What is this all about?!"
You accept Seteria's offer and are now holding a chicken feather.
Seteria gets a chicken feather from inside her backpack.
Seteria offers you a chicken feather. Enter ACCEPT to accept the offer or DECLINE to decline it. The offer will expire in 30 seconds.

Your jaw drops.

You accept Seteria's offer and are now holding a chicken feather.
Seteria gets a chicken feather from inside her backpack.
Seteria offers you a chicken feather. Enter ACCEPT to accept the offer or DECLINE to decline it. The offer will expire in 30 seconds.

You flick your tail at Seteria.
Yes, those Humans SHOULD know better....
You put your feather in your sirenfish-skin backpack.

You put your feather in your sirenfish-skin backpack.
You accept Seteria's offer and are now holding a chicken feather.
Seteria gets a chicken feather from inside her backpack.
Seteria offers you a chicken feather. Enter ACCEPT to accept the offer or DECLINE to decline it. The offer will expire in 30 seconds.

You exclaim, "WHERE IS THE CHICKEN!!!!!!????!"

You accept Seteria's offer and are now holding a chicken feather.
Seteria gets a chicken feather from inside her backpack.
You grab Seteria by the shoulders and shake her!

Seteria offers you a chicken feather. Enter ACCEPT to accept the offer or DECLINE to decline it. The offer will expire in 30 seconds.
You grab Seteria by the shoulders and shake her!

You put your feather in your sirenfish-skin backpack.
You put your feather in your sirenfish-skin backpack.
You accept Seteria's offer and are now holding a chicken feather.
Seteria gets some spicy chicken wings from inside her backpack.
You attempt to look as dangerous as possible.
Seteria offers you some spicy chicken wings. Enter ACCEPT to accept the offer or DECLINE to decline it. The offer will expire in 30 seconds.

You scream!

You accept Seteria's offer and are now holding some spicy chicken wings.


Chatter[Solstitia] She killed a chicken!!!
A tear runs down your face.
Seteria moves a jagged bloodstained butcher's cleaver with a thick ruby-encrusted handle to her right hand.
Seteria gives a jagged bloodstained butcher's cleaver with a thick ruby-encrusted handle a hug!
Seteria puts her cleaver in her backpack.

(Solstitia gazes at her wings and whimpers, eyes full of tears and sadness.)

You kneel down upon the ground.
Chatter[Nosirol] Well, at least it didn't suffer... did it?
Seteria quietly says, "oh..."
Fighter Solarryis just arrived.

Chatter[Solstitia] she plucked it first!
Seteria quietly says, "almost fergot the babies"
Seteria gets a small golden egg from inside her backpack.
Seteria drops a small golden egg.
Chatter[Nosirol] Oh, well, I guess it did then

(Solstitia starts to dig a hole in the ground with her claws, near a pretty tree.)
Seteria steps back and stops brawling.
Seteria just tried to kick the egg!

A tear runs down your face.

You exclaim to Seteria, "no!!!!"

You put your feather in your sirenfish-skin backpack.
Seteria gets a small golden egg from inside her backpack.
Seteria gets a small golden egg from inside her backpack.
Seteria drops a small golden egg.
Seteria drops a small golden egg.
Seteria gets a small golden egg from inside her backpack.
Seteria gets a small golden egg from inside her backpack.
Seteria drops a small golden egg.
Seteria drops a small golden egg.
Seteria gets a small golden egg from inside her backpack.
Seteria drops a small golden egg.

(Solstitia keeps digging her hole, making it especially deep as she glares menacingly at Seteria.)

You exclaim, "don't break them!!!"

You grab Seteria by the arm and shake her!
Warder Pedrig just arrived.

You exclaim, "They might be fertile!"
Pedrig leans against a leaning weathered roadsign.
Seteria ponders.
Seteria quietly says, "most of em were laid when I was pulling feathers"

(Solstitia gently, sadly, carefully places the chicken wings in the hole she dug, followed by the many feathers.)
Solarryis asks Pedrig, "think shes going to kill her?"

You coldly ask Seteria, "where is the chicken you pulled the wings and feathers from?"
Seteria quietly says, "I.. well there were a couple of roosters running around too"
Pedrig says to Solarryis, "Not likely."

You exclaim, "they are fertile eggs?!"
(Solstitia gathers up all the eggs and places them carefully in her backpackj, patting it protectively.)
Seteria quietly says, "I think the farmer might come back for the BEGAWK party"
(Solstitia carefully covers up the newly made chicken grave and rises to her feet, a look of resolve on her face)
You recite:

"We are gathered here today to colplete a very sad deed indeed, thanks to a chicken slayer."

Solarryis rubs you gently.
You recite:

"This deathw as easily avoided, but some people just do not have any decency."

Pedrig says to Seteria, "You didn't save me any? For shame."
Seteria says to Pedrig, "they were really good"
Pedrig sighs.
Chatter[Solstitia] Our chicken, who art in Poultreven, Fowl, be thy name.
You say, "The coops be clean, thy perches roosted, in Elanthia, as it is in Poultreven."
Seteria quietly says, "aye.. I will miss your flavor.."
Chatter[Rayvne] Sols, you need help...
Pedrig asks Seteria, "Don't I recall the Prince declaring puns a capital offense?"
You recite:

"Chicken Gods, Poultry and fowl be thy names, please do take these wings and feathers, and find them their real owner..."

Seteria quietly says, "I think I can whip up some Poulet later for us"
Seteria nods to Pedrig.
Pedrig asks, "A nice pillow and some blue cheese dressing?"
You recite:

"Though the owner may reside in some horrible womans stomach, they will reach the ground once again, and I pray you take them into your bosom, and give them their wings back."

Chatter[Nosirol] I think she's managing pretty well on her own actually
You kneel down and begin to pray.
Pedrig says, "What an icky image that was."
Seteria chuckles at Pedrig.
Seteria covers her mouth with her hand.
You recite:

"All i ask, Poutry and fowl, is that you grant the helpless chicken these wishes, and complete this task for me, your ever faithful guardian of the chicken on land. Worlds finest Chicken tender. I. Solstitia."

A tear runs down your face.
Pedrig asks Seteria, "She thinks she's an appetizer now?"
(Solstitia takes a deep breath, wiping her tears, and turns her full gaze on Seteria, with one last look of sadness toward the grave.)
Seteria covers her mouth with her hand.
Seteria chortles softly at some secret joke.
K>whis pedrig OOC: ROFLMAO
You whisper to Pedrig.
Seteria pats you on the back.
You coldly say to Seteria, "how DARE you do this."
Seteria quietly says, "there there"
Pedrig whispers, "((grin))"
Pedrig sets about picking the iron skippet...
Seteria quietly says, "they went for no better cuase"
You exclaim to Seteria, "don't touch me!!!"
You growl at Seteria.
You rise to your feet fluidly, like a large, graceful cat.

You push at Seteria, to no avail.
Seteria licks her lips.

You exclaim, "There IS no better cause than warrior chickening!!"
You exclaim, "She laid eggs, there is now no one to hatch them!!!"
Seteria ponders warrior chicken eatening
You ask Seteria, "you wish to die? Shall I kill you to prove that it is not a pleasant end?"
You attempt to look as dangerous as possible.
You lay your ears back, hissing warningly at Seteria.
Seteria quietly says, "Ive already been plucked."
Pedrig chortles softly at some secret joke.

(Seteria shows Sols her bald head)
You say to Seteria, "You have yet to be chewed."
You lay your ears back, hissing angrily at Seteria.
Seteria ponders.
You lash your tail while staring directly at Seteria!

You utter a low, rumbling hiss, tail lashing with fury.
Seteria quietly says, "I bed to differ on that"
Pedrig says to you, "I wouldn't assume such things if I were you."
Seteria quietly says, "err beg that is"
You say to Seteria, "I could drop a tree on your head or put an arrow in your breast, it is your choice."
You fix Seteria with an intent, predatory stare.
Seteria ponders.
You coldly ask Pedrig, "do you condone this behavor and her actions?"
Rogue Astriyd came through the Northeast Gate.
You exclaim to Seteria, "you should be put to trial!!"
You exclaim, "A Chicken slayer trial!"
Astriyd asks, "Awlright. Who be hurtin Sols chikens?"
Seteria quietly asks, "by.. a court of?"
You exclaim, "I could call all the warrior chickens of the lands to attend and decide your fate!"
Pedrig says, "I don't condone it. I was left out of the meal."
Seteria says to Pedrig, "this should be interesting"

You fix Seteria with an intent, predatory stare.

You exclaim to Astriyd, "Sete ate one!"

(Solstitia points to the newly covered grave.)
Seteria says to Astriyd, "it was a little one"
Astriyd gasps!
Seteria grins like an idiot.

You exclaim to Seteria, "I can't believe you dared!!"
Pedrig asks Seteria, "Should I go get my gavel?"

You exclaim to Astriyd, "it laid eggs as she plucked it!"
Astriyd rolls her eyes.
Astriyd exclaims, "Sete, how could ya?!"
Pedrig sets about picking the driftwood caddy...
You frown furiously, her eyes shining with unshed tears, fairly quivering in rage.
Pedrig says, "I'm a strong proponent of the legal theory of contributory deliciousness."
Pedrig sets about picking the driftwood caddy...
Seteria says to Astriyd, "it was very tasty.. cooked em up with a nice spicey seasoning."
You say to Pedrig, "*I* am the only person fit to be a judge of said trial, as the Chicken-God portended chicken tender of Elanthia."
Solarryis gets a lead eating knife from inside her spidersilk sack.
Seteria nods to Astriyd.

You hiss.
Solarryis puts her knife in a hardened woven basket with a sturdy lid.

You gasp!
You close a hardened woven basket with a sturdy lid.
Astriyd exclaims, "Seteria! Ya know dat ain't right. Dose be Sols' chickens!"

Pedrig says, "Well, I never."
You exclaim to Solarryis, "don't encourage her!!"

You grab Solarryis by the shoulders and shake her!
Seteria grabs Astriyd by the shoulders and shakes her!

You grab Seteria by the shoulders and shake her!
Pedrig sets about picking the driftwood caddy...
Seteria shakes her head at Astriyd.

You exclaim to Seteria, "dont touch her!"
Solarryis says, "i didnt mean to i just didnt want the knife"

You exclaim to Seteria, "it is your choice!"

Solarryis blushes a bright red color.
You move over to guard Astriyd.

Seteria quietly says, "no no.. these were loose from the farmers"


You say to Seteria, "death by tree, arrow or trial by warrior chickens."

You fold your arms across your chest.

Seteria chortles softly at some secret joke.

You exclaim to Seteria, "I set them loose they were mine!"
Seteria quietly says, "umm warrior chicken"
Seteria nods to you.

(Solstitia nods curtly, eyes cold and hard.)
Astriyd says, "An ya know dat chickens are rendered as high as our immortals. No one in dere right mind shuld eat any."
Pedrig says, "Then you probably shouldn't have let them loose, my dear. It was fowl entrapment."
Seteria quietly says, "Ive seen the tree... and the arrow... this should be integuing"

You say, "I will have a runner sent to you when the trial is prepared, I must go and summon the warriors of the lands."

You nod at Astriyd, in complete agreement with her views.

You praise Astriyd's efforts, supporting her with your approval.
You exclaim to Seteria, "I should have it ready for you in but a few days, and then we shall determine your fate!"

Solarryis leans on Astriyd.
You attempt to look as dangerous as possible.

Pedrig says, "ooh, a rendered chicken... makes for a nice broth or gravy later."

Pedrig licks his lips.
Seteria covers her mouth with her hand.
Astriyd glances at Pedrig.
Seteria nods to Solarryis.
(Solstitia turns on her heel and with a last glance back at the sad, lonely chicken grave, she stalks off in a menacing huff.)


LATER:

You darkly say to Pedrig, "the trial by Warrior chicken can hold another defendant, if you so choose to keep on."
You cast Pedrig a stern warning glance.
Pedrig clears his throat.
Pedrig covers his mouth with his hand.
Seteria quietly asks, "what would be his charges though?"
Pedrig says, "Let's just say that I am above the jurisdiction of such a court."
Seteria quietly asks, "supporting an accused chicken killer?"
You loudly exclaim, "no one is above such jurisdiction but the CHicken Gods themselves!!"
Seteria chortles softly at some secret joke.
You say to Seteria, "accomplice in murder. Self-admission of guilt in the crime of chicken eating."
Pedrig says, "Their Finger-Lickin Majesties should really show themselves."
You hear the voice of Astriyd say, "Ah highly doubt da Prince would give us access ta his courts"
You lay your ears back, hissing warningly at Pedrig.

You say to Pedrig, "they will, you rest assured."
You hiss at Pedrig.
Pedrig says, "I look forward to it."
Seteria quietly says, "oooh mayhap Ill be tarred and feathered"
Seteria drools.
Seteria quietly says, "of course that is IF im found guilty"
Seteria hums to herself.
Pedrig says, "We'd have to have a showing of evidence, of course."
You chatter away..
Chatter[Solstitia] hear ye, hear ye, the trial by warrior chicken for the murders of sad, hapless hens will commence very soon, defendants being Sir Pedrig, and the Self-proclaimed Innocent Seteria... The honorable Chicken Tender, Judge Solstitia, myself, will be presiding. Dates to follow shortly. All are invited to attend.
Seteria says to Pedrig, "she buried it"
Seteria shrugs.
Seteria puts her knife in her backpack.
Seteria puts her cleaver in her backpack.
You say to Seteria, "this is the court of the chicken, laws are not as you are accustomed, in your small, menial furless world."
You lay your ears back sharply, letting out a feral hiss.
Pedrig asks, "I wonder if their holy Deliciousnesses, the Lords of the Secret Spices, have ever actually beheld the glory that is a cooked chicken?"
Pedrig ponders.
You cover your ears with your hands.
You exclaim, "Enough! I can not believe you continue to bury yourselves under guilt!"
You lash your tail.
You say, "Your fate will be in the hands of Poultry and Fowl... I fear for your souls."

(Solstitia stalks out into the woods, quivering with rage.)

Later:

Chatter[Seteria] are the accused allowed to call witnesses?
Chatter[Seteria] and present eveidence?
Chatter[Seteria] and seek professional councel?
Chatter[Nosirol] Someone definitely has to seek professional something
Chatter[Rayvne] I suggest you all go together, and get a break on group rates.
Chatter[Seteria] Im not Crazy! but sete is!
Chatter[Solstitia] in the case of Seteria and Pedrig against the band of Warrior chickens, all laws are hereby and heretofor wherewith via the law of the Poultry.
Chatter[Solstitia] you are Sete, Sete!
Chatter[Solstitia] Witnesses are allowed, but must be forewith approved by the Designated CHicken Tender.
Chatter[Seteria] so.. is that a yes then Judge sweet and tender honey glazed chicken?
Chatter[Seteria] Ill let you know who my witnessess are
Chatter[Solstitia] I will await your runner.
Chatter[Seteria] I dont have a runner... I dont even wear hose you silly prat
Chatter[Seteria] how about I find you?
Chatter[Pedrig] I'd be willing to enter into a plea agreement...
Chatter[Seteria] Id plea that that judge 'Chicken Marinade' is obviously a witless twit and needs to be dunked in gravy
Chatter[Seteria] the creamy kind with little flecks of pepper in it.. not the yucky brown kind
Chatter[Solstitia] I am not any more edible than chickens are if you are referring to me, and I have no idea what a plea agreement is.
Chatter[Pedrig] A Judge without knowledge of pleas, what is this world coming to.
Chatter[Seteria] that is where we allow you to plead for forgivness from us for being such a backward mindless git
Chatter[Solstitia] I merely defend the honor of the chicken, and as their spokesperson, there is simply no other they'd trust as their voice in this trial.
Chatter[Pedrig] Come now, can't we burry the proverbial cleaver and meet to settle this matter over a civilized meal? No hens or roosters to be served, I assure you.

Chatter[Nosirol] In fact, you should serve poulet.